Emdad

Keywords : simplicity, peace, wisdom, happiness, detachment

Some things and concepts we take for granted are esoteric to some people—and vice versa.

The other day, my conversation with Emdadul, our 24-year old muslim waiter from Bangladesh went: “Wuhhen arr yu back to Singafore?”, he asked. “2 months from now and possibly Christmas”, I replied. “Wuhat is Krismas?” I was surprised Emdadul has not even heard of ‘Christmas’. I tried explaining: ”Most of the world celebrate Christmas during end of December but in the Philippines , we start celebrating beginning September-October…” He started interviewing me. : "Yu like China?" "Yes". "China is a gud country". "You think so?" "Yes." "Why?" "Many many nice place and the girls are beautiful". "Oh Yes, i agree with you 100% especially on the last part"...“Wuhen u will get marrid? Not yang anymorr yor age”. “I don’t know”, I replied. “You have any girl to introduce to me? I’m very very desperate now you know”. He didn’t laugh but remained smiling and said one of the most profound words I’ve ever heard:

“Ourr life is not for ourselfh but for ahders”. “Huh? What did you say again?”

“Ourr life is not for ourselfh but for ahders”, he repeated.

Most of us understand the above only because it is said in english, not because we have grasped its true meaning in our hearts and certainly not because we are living our lives according to it. Those words seem to be another proof that wisdom is revealed to the ‘simple and lowly’. Many of us who belong to the educated echelons of society often have to struggle to act or think in the carefree and simple manner Emdad knows. Our hearts are often so cluttered we have forgotten how to for example, live a life of trust--, trust that by the end of the day everything will be well and alright. We worry and fuss over so many unimportant matters, oftentimes ridiculous things. We have forgotten how to be simple and as a result, we have forgotten how to be truly happy. Instead we choose to be enslaved by the baggages we carry- our pride and vanities, our possessions & our pleasures. So that anyone or anything that disturbs these things in us instantly annoys and takes away our peace.

There are a thousand things that disturb our peace.

We often like to compare ourselves with others. If one seems better off than us, we sometimes despair and our peace is disturbed. We like to seek pleasure. If we are unable to enjoy these, we get frustrated…and so on…

The world is fair. It may be a little hard for Emdad to understand the meaning of ‘Christmas’ but he certainly knows what his life is for. We may understand a lot of things- even about quantum mechanics or metaphysics and such but we often fail to be happy and understand life’s meaning- something so natural for Emdad. He may one day grow old and die not even having understood the meaning of ‘Internet’. Big deal. Most of us will grow old and die not even having the slightest hint as to the reason for our existence. If this is not a deal bigger than all the contracts in the world, i dont know what is. We live like zombies constantly running after something to feed our vanities and our pride. We seem to have distorted priorities of what is important and what is not.

One of them is that many of us will tend to waste time by putting criticisms and negative labels on things, institutions and ideas we are unable to fathom fully and appreciate – like Emdad’s simple words.

Wedding

Keywords: Rules, Laws, Freedom, Marriage, Happiness, Paradox

Last night i attended the most bizarre wedding party in my life. I was already on my way to bed at around 10:40pm when my phone rang with Hasan on the other end. He asked if I’m going to attend Nabil’s brother’s wedding party. I asked if I was invited, he said yes, of course, all of us are invited. ‘Sure, lets go! give me 10 minutes and I’ll wait for you at the lobby”. I asked if we needed to bring ‘angpao’. “no need, just bring yourself”.

Hasan drove like a mad man. Cursing and swearring along the way. Everyone in Jeddah is a road maniac- no exceptions. Roads here are mostly fat highways, no traffic police and no rules. Not far and difficult to witness the next accident and mangled cars on the road.

After much detour and circling around due to our unfamiliarity with the road networks, we finally arrived. We were greeted at the gate by men wearing what I guess would be their indigenous Bedouin costume. Turban + colourful silky clothing. The entire pavement outdoor was covered with carpets and you see some men seated comfortably on them drinking and smoking. The scene reminded me of Alladin and his magic carpet. The gate greeters who were carrying large orange clay jars poured some liquid onto a flattish orange clay bowl and offered a bowl to us one by one. I took a sip and finished it. It tasted ok. I would have also finished it even if it tasted like the coffee the other day. Adel told me these are flower petals grinded and mixed with water. Similar to our bandung in singapore -which uses rose petal. At the door, the groom, together with the father and other relatives greeted us. Some like me, by a handshake, others by their usual cheek to cheek kiss, left cheek first, and then right cheek coupled with a gentle hug.

Inside it was like a giant ballroom hall with nothing except soft chairs and lounges lined up in rows. You see men, mostly in white turbans seated comfortably and chit chatting. We were in the men’s section. Behind the walls were the women. I asked Adel if we will see the bride or any woman at all later. “Never’. was his answer. Even the groom will not see his wife during the party. In fact, before agreeing to marry, he visits the woman’s parents and for the first time he has the opportunity to see his bride-to-be for around 15 minutes, that’s it. All marriages here are arranged. Just like my parents’ back in old China.

It sounds unimaginable for us to be marrying someone you hardly know or even seen. But it seems to me that if you compare this to our culture of whirlwind courtship and romance before marriage, we are not doing any better in terms of fidelity and faithfulness. Ironically, the culture of arranged marriages usually are those that lasts longer and end up in more stable marriages. This seem to prove that we all can love someone and anyone more and ourselves less if we decide we want to.

Popular wisdom will argue that we will have more freedom when there are no rules or law or culture to binds us. The wisdom of the Church says that it is precisely the laws, the rules and the cultures that ensures our freedom. If there are no traffic rules, yes, we are free to drive anyway we want without a care – just like the road maniacs here. No problem. However if our carelessness eats into and interferes into the freedom and rights of another to be safe. Then my seeming freedom becomes only an illusion because this same man whose rights to be safe I took away by my careless driving, also can take away my rights the same way I took his. Traffic rules are there to set us free- not chain us. ...

Let's talk more about freedom…The U.S. is said to be the freest country on the planet. Yes? No! In fact, the U.S. is less free in many areas of life than say, a ‘dictatorial-style-government-ruled’ country like Singapore . I can ask my imaginary pony-tailed hokkien-speaking girlfriend to take a stroll with me along Orchard Road at 3am in the morning and both of us will have nothng in our minds except each other. Can I do the same in say, Beverly Hills ? I’ll probably be constantly watching our backs. The possibility of us being robbed or mugged and my cute girlfriend taken away from me in no time will be very real. It’s just not possible to walk the streets at 3am! Although theoretically, I am free to walk anytime I want in both countries. Somebody’s claim of absolute freedom(to do whatever he wants with me and my cute girlfriend) and his lack of respect for the rules and the laws effectively takes away my freedom to walk the streets at any hour I wish...As such, respect for the rules and the law in Singapore gives me and everyone else living there true physical freedom.

I guess in marriage, there are also rules and laws to follow which gives both the husband and the wife true emotional freedom. It is very common for the spouses to claim that their freedom has been lost after marriage. The irony here, I guess, is that most do not realize that those who keep faithful to their marriage are those who have found genuine freedom while those that have strayed found their freedom and other people’s freedom taken away. In marriage and family life one sacred rule we were taught is:

In everything the husband decides to do, he should put his wife first, his children second and himself the last priority. And likewise for the wife, she puts her husband at the top, the children second and herself, always last.

Easy to say but very very difficult to do especially if you have tried doing it and your spouse doesn’t seem to appreciate your efforts one single bit. We all know it. But nothing easy is as rewarding as hard feats. Life is full of paradoxes. It is in giving ourselves fully and unreservedly and in dying to oneself that we attain and receive happiness, more than in taking. It is in loving that we receive more love. Giving respect that we gain other’s respect.

On a much higher and profound level… Banson entering the life in a Benedictine monastery effectively binds him to so many rules and laws unimaginable to most people. These rules, as seen by people outside are like chains on him, keeps him in prison. Seemingly, but on the spiritual realm, these rules and laws are actually what sets himself free and his offer of himself also sets many people around him free.

The Church is often criticized for its rigidness and its zillions of rules and commandments. If only we know better, the rules are there to make us happy and set us free – not the other way around as we often deceive ourselves to think. A paradox indeed.

By the end, the crowd gathered and started chanting and shouting Arabic poetries of encouragements to the groom. It seemed like M.C. Hammer inspired : (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR5P21Q2yLU) It lasted for around 20 minutes. We were feeling tired and sleepy at around 2:30am. We said bye to Nabil and headed back home. On the road, Hasan suddenly swerved the car to the left. We almost killed a roller-blading man who suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the road. ‘Fuckhing idioth, what’s this crazy man doing here man? &%@#*.....” Hasan bellowed. I laughed and said: “cool down man…”.

Faith

Keywords : Shrek, Mecca, Christianity, Muslim

Ahmed, my Egyptian colleague drove us to hunt for lunch. The other chap sitting in front was Tarek, another Egyptian colleague and friend. He certainly reminds me of Shrek. :) Until 3 days ago, I didn’t know that there are also clean-shaven, fat & overweight muslims. So for my stereotyping…And the funny thing is, his voice sounds like Shrek and he laughs like Shrek too!

On the road, I asked if we can drive up to Mecca , which is only an hour’s ride away from Jeddah. I’d be happy to be able to visit the place since it is considered the holiest place by muslims…just to be able to witness the place and the people and the culture will be a great experience I thought. In school, we learned that the Kaaba or black stone is in Mecca. Every muslim, before he prays, regardless of where he is geographically located on the planet, has to make sure he faces the Mecca. I wonder how they know which direction to face? Perhaps every muslim carries a compass with them or they just instinctively know? I should ask Ahmed. These guys are good at orientations, maybe even the ladies. The other day we were inside the supermarket, again looking for food. Before splitting up, he said, don’t worry we will find each other, I will sms to you my coordinates when I’m done. Hmm…they probably think in “north 79degrees, 15 minutes, 30 seconds East”...Anyway, I was a bit disappointed when Ahmed said non-muslims are not allowed to enter Mekkah.

I asked Ahmed what makes Mecca the holiest muslim site and why do muslims worship the black stone. “Mekkah is the haus of God. We bilivh that Godth is there”, he explained. “Really?” He went on : “Adam construkted the foundations of the Kaaba in Mekkah, and Ibrahim bilt the billdinng”. Hmm.. I didn’t know Adam was a piling contractor and Abraham was a builder of buildings. The other day he also taught me new stuffs. I fired a hundred questions. ‘Who is Jesus?”, I asked. “He is a proffet’, he answered. “who is Mary?” …”Miriam is the goodest and best woman in the univers”. “Why?” I asked. “Becos the Koran says she is the besth”. “Who is Moses?” “He parrtd the red sea”. “What else does the koran say about Jesus?” “He didth many mirakhels..and yu know, when the pipl wanted to kill him, Allah took him to hevn, and yu know, Allah changed the look of Judas to becom like Jesus face yu know…then the Jews thot it was Jesus and so they killed him, but it was not Jesus they killed yu know”…”Ohh, ok…” Pause. “If you die now where do you end up?” I asked. “We belivv all muslims will go to heavn, but yu know, therh arh 7 levels in heavn. Mayybe if I am goodth, I will go to higher heavn togetherh with Ibrahim and Mohammad. If I am bad, I will go to hell”. “Really?” “yes, but if I go to hell, onli forh a short time, Mohammad and Miriam will ask Allah to bring me to heavn”.

I’m amazed at how closely linked Christianity is to Islam. In fact, it seems to me that Catholics and Muslims actually share and agree in about 90% of beliefs except the last part about the death and resurrection of Jesus and a little bit of the hell part. Most astonishing to me is their unreserved respect and praise for Mary. She is the most pure and most beautiful and perfect human being ever created and ever will be. They also believe, like us on the intercession of the saints. Oh, yes, the other day, I saw a beggar woman thumbing what looked to me like a rosary on her hand. I’m sure it’s not a rosary but it is a prayer bead of some sort.

At last we drove pass what looked to me like a huge fortress with circular barbed wires on top. I thought it’s probably a high-security prison or something similar. I quickly pulled out my handphone and took a snap of the full-battle geared black soldiers manning the entrance. Ahmed suddenly nervously said: “They will shoot us! Do not take pikhturs!!!”…It was the U.S. Embassy I just snapped and the soldiers there are understandably very nervous of terrorists…we were lucky the soldiers didn’t see me.

Historical Christianity

Keywords : Desires, Worldy pleasures, Catholicism, Protestantism, Gregory the Great, History

Yesterday we had Lebanese food. Very healthy stuffs. I wish I could describe them all but I’m one who’s not exactly a food connoisseur. I eat anything and almost everything. All I know is there were eggplants mixed with olive oil, and Lebanese bread called ‘foul’, chicken shawarma, and something that looked like yogurt plus also something that looked liked beans. Oh yes, and lots of nice round, yellow-green olives and also leafy mint. Alright since we’re on the topic of food, let me boast by saying I’ve tasted traditional arab coffee. Not Arabica ok? It tastes weird. A typical Chinese like me wont crave for it again. Not sure exactly how the concoction is made but I was told they have ginger and cloves mixed into it. Believe me, it tastes horrible. It took me 10 min. to finish the drink the size of a typical tiny chinese tea cup.

The temperature outside was damn bloody hot. I was told this is not even summer yet. My Jordanian friend was a bit exaggerating I guess when he said this weather is considered winter in Jeddah. Whew! I’m bracing myself for what summer is in store…55 degrees celcius!

This morning I reluctantly joined a Filipino Christian fellowship group. I just happen to be there in one of the guy’s home and didn’t know such a gathering was in store….

Well, If the muslims are divided into 2 categories namely, the Traditional Muslims and the Fundamentalist Muslisms (jihadists…etc.), we also have the Traditional Christians(catholic) and the Fundamentalist Christians (have you been saved and are you sure you are going to heaven if you die now in front of my nose?). The pastor, in his characteristic long-winded sermon was full of gusto and can easily woo anyone who’s a newbie in religion to fall into submission. He continued to ‘khaw peh, khaw bu’ and I almost fell asleep. I’ve heard the same old stuffs probably a hundred times and they strike me as…what’s the term for ‘lack of depth? His talk was not even at the level of the popular book, ‘Purpose Driven Life’. Many people will say the book is very profound. Ask any priest and they will say it’s a yawn. It is very difficult to understand what I mean unless one has been exposed to a solid catholic world-view. Or one has read the writings of Chesterton-the apostle of common sense, CS Lewis, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lixeus, St. John of the Cross, or Newman’s ‘Development of Christian Doctrine’, or something more contemporary like David Armstrong’s apologetics, and of course, Thomas A Kempis’ classic ‘Imitations of Christ’ and numerous others I cant recall now with my slowing brain. Well trust me, the fundamentalist christian’s world-view is like drinking artificial flavoured orange water against real fresh squeezed orange juice.

Sorry I cant help being opinionated about religion especially since I am now living at the historic city of Jeddah, it being one of the epicenters of religious history. “Jeddah” is an Arabic word for grandmother and is believed to be where Eve had been buried. Yes, Adam’s wife….The other day I was just loitering at the sidewalk waiting for a friend when a total stranger passed by and greeted me with ‘Asalamu alaikum’. It means ‘Peace be with you’ and I should reply: “alaikum salam” which means “And also with you”. Sounds familiar? This is how they greet each other. Our ‘Hello’ equivalent. This was also how Christ greeted the apostles, if you remember after the Last Supper and this is how at Mass we greet each other. My Egyptian friend said that after every prayer session, and before leaving the mosque, they would look to their left and then to their right with the greeting. This is because muslims believe that we are all given two guardian angels each by God- one always at our left and the other stationed at our right.

Going back on the topic of Christianity. On the surface, Protestant theology seems to be true while catholic theology seems to exhibit characteristics that is prone to suspicion. But if one is to be inquisitive and willing to take the necessary steps to probe and dig deeper, to study and play detective. With a rational and objective mind, one will clearly see how true and beautiful catholic theology is. The detective will be surprised to find that all the pieces of the puzzle fits neatly and perfectly together. One will also discover that protestant theology does not hold water. It tries to explain itself but will eventually result in a frustratingly circular argument that cannot be resolved. Its very existence is self-contradicting and in order to rationalize its existence, one has to adopt an irrational mindset. As Newman would have it : "To be deep in history is to cease being protestant". On the other hand, the beauty of catholic theology is its simplicity. Even a child can understand, and yet it has been said that it is deeper than the ocean and no single human being has ever probed its full depth.

1 hour later the pastor passed the baton to this chap named Rom. He said he was in seminary for 8 years before but later left. And that he belonged to S.V.D. That sounds very very familiar. Did I just hear ‘SVD’ mentioned in a protestant sermon? I tried to open my eyes and wake up to make sure that what I just heard is not my subconscious going into la-la land.

Rom continued by saying in his recent visit to Manila , he met one of his fellow-seminarian friend who also left the seminary almost at the same time as him. Now after the long hiatus, his friend told him that he now has decided to re-enter the seminary to start again where he left off. Rom said that this friend is a fil-Chinese with his last name being Banson. Anyway Banson showed him to his room inside the Benedictine ‘monastery’ near Mendiola. (is there one there?). it was a tiny and humble room, with a wooden bed and a stale pillow. No soft mattress. By the side, is a small table with a little lamp and a bible. Nothing else. The room, absolutely bare. Rom asked Banson to explain his reason for re-entering the seminary. Banson said he wasn’t happy or content with life in the middle of the world and believes he will find true freedom of spirit inside the Benedictine cloister. Those words have more weight when coming from someone who seems to have a lot of things made for him. Banson, Rom explained, stays in New Manila and is the heir to Mercury Drug + a host of other businesses and franchises. Here is a man who has tasted the world and found it to be lacking.

Hmm…I’m always fascinated with people like Banson. Perhaps we and the world may ask: “What madness would make a man renounce everything and all the pleasures of the world to suffer and deny himself for the sake of something or someone unseen?” But to the world, he may in turn reply by asking: “What vanity wills one to cling on to temporal and external consolations when all pleasures of this world are fleeting? We get wearied by the very same things that we love to possess….When we do not have them, we eagerly pursue and desire them, but when we have obtained what we desired, almost immediately we get weary and tired of them. We are like children who when they do not have a toy, will scream and jump and cry, but when the child obtains the toy, he / she almost immediately throws it to the side and quickly forgets about it. Strange yet true. Some theologians explained that it is because our hearts have an infinite capacity for happiness, and nothing finite can fill and satisfy it! (but only what is infinite). Echoing one of my personal favourite saints - St. Augustine , the womanizer-turned- saint. After many years of a life lived in pursuit of worldly pleasures and honour, he finally wrote his famous words: “Oh Lord, our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee”.

Come to think of it, it seems like whatever it is that consoles us- soft things, possessions, praise and honour, bodily comfort and pleasures, soon becomes the very same things that afflict and confounds us in other ways. We often find ourselves chained and becoming slaves to the very things we seek…70 years quickly passes and in a short while, death comes to greet us. “He who was dressed in a king’s robe is now covered with worms...” Who was it who said something like: “when I visit the graveyards, and watch the tombs of men who ruled kingdoms and empires. The very same men whose glories were admired by many and whose words instilled fear in many men. And now when I see their tombs lay side by side with other dead men, all forms and manner of awe and envy in me instantly disappear”.

Jeddah Exhibition

My Lebanese colleague drove me to the Jeddah International Exhibition Centre and dropped me off and left. Before we left our hotel, he explained that I should bring my passport along wherever I go because a foreigner without an iqama can be sent to jail immediately without trial. I needed my passport to show him I have a business visa. Cool. I didn’t know that up to today since I arrived, I have been constantly at risk without my passport beside me.

I wanted to come here to witness what an arab building materials expo looks like. It felt strange that they hold their exhibitions at night. In Saudi Arabia , this is norm. I was told that the scorching heat during the day prevents people from venturing out the streets. Hmm.. today I learned something new.

I moved from booth to booth. Again wasn’t surprised that I seem to be the only asian in the building, with exception to 1 or 2 Filipinos I got to meet. A brick made of volcanic ash/ stones caught my eye and this time, was surprised to find out from the arab that there are volcanos in Saudi Arabia ..oh man, I’m not sure if he was bluffing me or if my non-existent Arabic and his poor English were a source of miscommunication…volcanos in the desert?....There were rows and rows of booths displaying boring steel industries, homogeneous tiles, laminated mdf board….Another item that caught my eye was the PPR(polypropylene) pipes without need for adhesive joining compound but instead are joined by heating- I thought this was quite interesting for an arab invention, later I was told it to be adopting German technology. Or maybe I’m just not updated with technology anymore. Meanwhile, I moved to another booth displaying beautiful stones. The Pakistani assured me that I am inside a museum. His booth showcased decorative stone walls made of rare precious stones such as emerald, agate, and a few others I cant remember the name. These stones are polished and glued together by an industrial transparent epoxy. At the center of each showpiece is a hundred million years-old ammonite fossil. My attention was drawn to the floor I was standing on. Fossilized timber probably hundreds or even thousands of years old. I was told they were made in Mauritius . Hmmm….one of these days, maybe I should visit the place. With my propensity for natural materials in interior deco, I think with a little dash of carpet to soften the ambience, it will make for a real nice and cozy living room.

As i continued to move from one booth to the other, from a distance there looked like a man whose features was much more familiar. Chinky eyes, fair yellow skin. He must be either from china, Taiwan or japan, I thought. I made sure our paths crossed and greeted him. “Hello there sir, Are you Singaporean?” though I knew it a remote possibility for a singaporean to be in this place. “No, I’m Korean.” He replied with a smile. “Oh, I am glad to see an asian here.” He knew what I meant and was glad, too. He was accompanied by an Indian whose features and even body shape looked like a clone of Fr. Anthony of the Church of the Good Shepherd in Singapore . Cool! Later I found out he was a Yemeni born in Kenya . I almost greeted him ‘father’. he has 2 wives. I got none. The Korean said, no problem he’ll find me a girl here. Haha. Just the other day, our Bangladeshi waiter in the office from Dhaka said, “ In Jeddah, it is impossible to find a girlfriend”. I couldn’t agree with him more. In a place where man and women are not to be seen even glancing at each other, and marriages are arranged by their Arabian parents. There is just no way. Now this Korean chap is resourceful! Kim, told me that in his country, majority of people are either sirnamed “Kim”, “Park’ and one other I cant recall. He said the rest have Chinese sirnames like mine. His brother in law is ‘Lim’….hmm..i didn’t know that…He said, he and Ali, the Yemeni are like brothers to each other. There is a great contrast of cultures between the two and yet, they see each other as brothers. Wow.

We moved together hopping from booth to booth and finally Kim was greeted by an Arab wearing a red turban. Immediately, they started talking business…Later on our way home, with Kim on the driver’s seat and Ali at the back, Kim said he flew with this arab businessman to Seoul last year and impressed the chap with his connections with the big boys in Korea . I would imagine he knows one of those cheobols from Samsung or Hyundai…the arab was also talking big, he said his relative owns a petrochemical plant and that he would bring Kim to meet him. Kim explained he has ready buyers of 500mil. Tons (whatever) of gasoline and LPG gas in China . It was amusing to listen to their conversations as both seem to be intent on impressing the other. I think I can believe the arab bec. When I mentioned our project, immediately he said he knew the bosses of Savola and Kinan. The financiers of our $800m. mixed use development, currently still on the drawing boards stage.

As we reached home, Kim assured me that should I need anything, just holler and give him a ring. He said we should have dinner or lunch one of these days.

I’m still adjusting to life here and he knew how difficult it is….Meanwhile, I thanked him for the ride and said bye for now to the 2 brothers.

First Impressions of Jeddah

I was awoken by sounds of muslim prayer chants. It struck me that the average faithful and pious muslim lives a life of ascetism and prayer probably more rigorous than our Carmelite monks.  I am not sure how many times our Carmelite brothers pray as a community in a day but here, the muslims pray 6 x daily beginning at 4:50am. During the day, They utter ‘Hamdullilah’ after every sentence they make. It means ‘Allah be praised’. I suppose if every christian would imitate: ‘Praise be to God/ Jesus Christ’, he would also be on his way to sainthood. Compare this to the average fil-chinese hokkien-speaking burgher like myself. I cant count the no. of times the typical suffix ‘sai nia’ ends in every sentence. Or the prefix ‘piao si’ before every sentence. ‘tsap tsing’, ‘kan nin nia’ ‘tsao tsi bai’ ( Singapore hokkien). We greet each other with “Sai nia, kumusta na pare?” or ‘pare, long time no see, din peh, di leh tsong sia loh ah tseh?” and we reply by the usual: “piao si eh, seng dih tsin paih ah”. Without these suffixes and prefixes, the sentence just sounds grammatically incorrect.

Life here is monastic even for the wealthy arabs. There is nothing to do here except pray and eat and sleep. Though it seemed to me that the people aren’t complaining. They don’t feel deprived as we would probably think. There is no shopping culture here and I wonder how the humble malls even survive. No movie theatres to go to. No fine dining restos, no pubs with billard tables much lest dancefloors. Only lots of ugly men with ugly beards and miles and miles of desert sand dunes, sandstorms, and no pigs. No fair & smooth-skinned babes on miniskirts. Many world cities seem to be evolving to share similar broad characters- skyscrapers skyline, retail and commercial shopping malls left and right, bustling streets with fashionable ladies and men in shiny big cars...adjust your lense’s focus to the background and you find the contrast against beggars by the wayside, worn-out faces of construction workers…fast-walking men in smart suits, politicians making speeches, rallies, labour strikes…Look around some more and you’ll see women in shorts walking their dogs in the park, men drinking beer and getting drunk, families and friends in alfresco restaurants, children playing balls on the streets, Christmas lights, santa claus, couples in fine dining, packed sports stadium, group of teenagers yakking and laughing, cyclers talking on their handphones, tourists posing and taking photos, lovers kissing, frantic cabbies, buses and jampacked trains, kayakers practicing by the river, women sipping coffee on one hand and a pocketbook on the other, bars, pubs and neon lights. Teeming with activities 24-hour non-stop and yet, sometimes, I wonder if all these activities even make us truly happier? Or is it just a mask? Here, you look around and will discover all of the above is non-existent, their only entertainment or sports it seems to me is football and kite-flying. People are generally stoic. They don’t laugh or smile much but they seem to be content. This place is truly unique. Compare Jeddah to other cities in the world, this place is, well….now I am unable to decide so quickly in all honesty which one is heaven and which one hell.

First Impressions of Jeddah

Today is Friday. Our Sunday equivalent in Saudi Arabia . I went strolling to explore a bit of the surrounding areas around where I am staying. I found a Chinese resto nearby selling fish soup for 8SR, also I was interested in getting a 19SR steamed fish. I was out hunting for ‘safe’ food for me to eat as I was recently diagnosed with gallstone. No meat, no oily food and no fatty food allowed. Their restaurants have separate entries for single people and for families with wives and children. Singles are basically referring to men. Women are not allowed to walk alone in the streets unaccompanied by their husbands.

I came out of Carrefour and felt it very eerie as the place is so desolate. Not a single soul in the mall…whew. I felt like I was in ghost town. Outside, the streets were equally desolate. I attempted to take a few photo shots using my handphone. I was warned by the Singapore consulate that taking photographs here is banned. For what strange reasons, I wasn’t told. So I treaded carefully and with extreme caution less I get caught. From what I heard, it is especially forbidden to take photographs of women. As if there is anything revealing about their black ninja suits.

An arab in his car parked by the side horned me. I ignored him. He horned 2 more times, I continued walking as if I didn’t notice him. He turned on his engine and started following me on the road while I walked nonchalantly by the sidewalk. He horned again and this time I looked at him with my solid black dark shades on and signaled him to leave me alone. I was wearing a t-shirt and long faded casual brown pants. I was wondering to myself what he wanted. He accelerated and disappeared ahead on the road. Whew. I thought he was going to be persistent and I was already planning my next move.

The Red sea was nice but not as beautiful as I imagined. There were floating seaweeds and across the sea, you can see the King’s palace on an island. This place is called Corniche. From where I was standing, just a 50 meter away were 3 white seagulls hovering around in circles. Every now and then, one of the birds will dive down into the water in its attempt to catch some fish or maybe simply to cool its head from the heat? It was almost sunset actually….i was just strolling romantically by myself along the shore when I saw the same familiar white car coming toward me. He parked it just a few meters away from where I was standing and was about to alight. I sensed danger. Instinctively, I started running away from the shore toward the city. I quickly crossed the double 6-lane highway amidst the running vehicles (very few though) and headed toward the direction where I came from earlier. I run fast as fast as I could. It wasn’t easy to hide as the streets were wide and the place so desolate that there are hardly any people by the roads and sidewalks. Occasional 1 or 2 passersby and that’s it. So any moving object is easy to spot. I stopped to catch my breath and hid behind one of the corner of the building. All buildings here looked the same. Soul-less 4-6 storey high white painted stucco and plain dull facades reminiscent of Mediterranean architecture.

I peeped through the sharp corner of the wall to check if he is following behind. Nothing. I was a bit relieved but knew I wasn’t safe yet. A friend of mine said that ‘the joy of the prize is in the hunt’. I felt like a chicken in a lion’s den. This is ridiculous and it almost seemed surreal to me that this is happening. I was being chased by an arab who thinks I am a woman just bec. I have smooth asian skin and don’t wear a beard. I don’t have to pinch myself to tell me that this is real. I know this is real and its happening. Now I can identify with how threatened women feels when confronted with idiotic man…no fun man, believe me. I tried to relax and started walking briskly toward the direction of small alleys. I don’t dare confront him as he is much bigger and this is his territory where my understanding of shariah law says it is not unlawful to kill an infidel. ( a non-muslim ). Lots of small god-forsaken alleys with abandoned rusting cars and dirt roads. Still everywhere all buildings look the same to me and I was getting a bit disoriented as to which direction leads back to the suite I was staying in. I passed through several more alleys and open parking spaces enclosed in chain-linked fence. Luckily it wasn’t totally locked up so that I needed to do a u-turn. There was a small hole in the fence and I just slipped through to get to the other side. Occasionally I saw a few black boys on the streets playing some games with their black mothers wearing the traditional abaya and baby-sitting. These are migrants from nearby Ethiopia or Somalia I guess. I walked slowly cutting through more alleys. At last I passed through a mosque, and discovered the reason for the desolated streets and shops. Its prayer time. Devout muslims parked their cars outside the mosque and one by one they walked in through the gates into the hall to pray. I said to myself that if he reappears again, I will go inside the mosque. I figured it seemed to be the only safe place as the streets are literally empty. Inside, I can hide myself amidst the hundreds of people praying. Although i will still look odd with my yellow t-shirt, pants and timberland costume contrasts with their white arab tunic and sandals. I am sure most muslims are good people. I was just unlucky to bump into this exceptional chap.

I need a disguise fast. Growing my beard may not be enough. Later my friend suggested I send him my body stat so he can send me a wig, high heels, ear rings and a bra, and then I can wear an abaya.

When I reached home, I watch a dvd by Jet Li I brought with me from Singapore . I also needed to practice some basic kung fu self defense.